A Never Confession
There are secrets that will share my dusty grave. For instance, all the kinky masturbation you inspired. How I should have changed my life for you. How we made love four times a day without guilt. How I miss drinking beer with you at Club Aldonna. How you kissed me more and better. How I saw your deceptions. How wrong it was for you to call your husband from our bed. How your unfaithful days and nights were a hot knife that made two hearts in me: one for my sons only, one for 10,000 gray daydreams. I didn’t let you know how beautiful you were the night the wind brought you to me. When you needed me to lead and I didn’t. How I’ve never forgiven you. How you have the most wonderful pussy. How I knew we were soul mates the second you were born. How I never wrote a poem about you. How you were only a notch in my selfish leather belt. How I did change my life for you. How I used your friendship like dirty dollar bills. How I was stoned the night that you told your awful secret. How I hated myself for embarrassing your young enthusiasm. How I spied on you through the tiniest keyholes. I always knew you were lying and did nothing.
How I will never admit this to all of yous. How you can’t know which you is you. I will never be blessed for these sins despite my regrets. How I have no regrets. How I’ve never lied in my poetry. I’m sorry.
Albert DeGenova is an award-winning poet, publisher, and teacher. He is the author of four books of poetry and two chapbooks. DeGenova is the founder/editor of After Hours, a journal of Chicago writing and art, launched in June of 2000. He splits his time between metro Chicago and Sturgeon Bay, Wisc.